Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
please come you make the beer taste better
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
