Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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