...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
