Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
