after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
