Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
