youre lurking in front of me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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