also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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