ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
