This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize