I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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