I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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