oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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