so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
