i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize