That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is the high leading the old right now
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
