why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
