she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
