took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
