her vagine was all disorganized.
no, he came in my armpit
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
