Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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