if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
