forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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