I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize