the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
