you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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