Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
