there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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