Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
