The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
