Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
