I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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