Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize