Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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