Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
