new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
