I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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