so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
