then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
