Betty ford says i'm here all night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize