That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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