let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
