he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
