when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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