am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
