She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
