You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
