i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
