oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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