you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
