That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Enjoy the penises
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
