Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She bit a glass in half.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
