And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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