i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
