You made me cry and you don't even care
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
