got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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