Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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