I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You ruined the universe
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
