can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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