so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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