I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize