They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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