This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
