Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
